Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Nanny Getcha Gun

There is no working off the grid anymore and no life outside the matrix of the nanny state. Getting anything up and running these days is an obstacle course of rules and regulations. We have eaten Nanny and we now operate with her mind set.  'What would Nanny Do? ' the mini nanny thinks before she asks you to bend over for a DNA swab. You know Nanny only cares about your health and safety. That's why she waits behind every corner with a bag to throw over your head and some rope to bind your feet so she can measure out your carbon footprint. She will tax your moods and fine your farts and keep you marching off the nature strip so you don't kill the grass.  She is an anti mobility moll and a stiched up wowser who will put you in a nanny state before you've even woken up.  It's a dreamless state that you can't get in or out of.  A state that will leave you frustrated and pulling out thwarts. Thwarts come from being thwarted. They taste like metal, burn like shrapnel and gnaw away at your hope fund.  I don't suffer from thwarts all the time. It's not a permanent state.  I only suffer from thwarts if I try to get ahead and come up against Nanny.

Like Today for example..

When I put up an ad on Gumtree for my Winter Goddess Pamper Package.  90 minutes of Therapeutic massage from the head to the twinkle toes.  Three times I put that Ad up and three times that Ad was deleted by the gumtree admin.  The first time because I stated that it was for Women Only  I apparently contravened the Federal Discrimination Act. The second time because I didn't state 'non sexual' (because  female clients have NEVER once asked for a clit rub) And my third deletion was because I didn't put up my credentials. Since when does an advertising board ask to see my credentials?  I'd say that is none of their business? I massaged streams of PTSD wracked and grieving New Yorkers in the aftermath of September 11th. People wept on my table. I wept on their back.  That's my licence. I have a PHD in empathy which is not a bad credential in a country stacked with emotional autistics.. What does Gumtree care anyway? Are they going to check?  I was running out of time and energy so I had to think lateral!  Bless me Gumtree for I have..hmmm I would cut out all requests for credentials and banana hands with a PRAYER MASSAGE.  I'd get Jesus on the job and halve the work load. God would be my Invisible Bouncer!  It came to me like a bolt of divine grace and I wasted no time getting it up on the board.

But Jesus wept if I didn't JUST get deleted from Gumtree again. And not only that my account is suspended.  I assume that's because I didn't state the massage was non sexual. I thought bringing JC on board would render that point moot. Jesus is the divine regulator. He don't need no nanny state to tell him how to do his voodoo.  I know my atheist friends will all be laughing at this point. But they all have trust funds or partners and they aint good for a loan.

So I checked out the competition to see the sort of Ads that get passed. And they look something like this.

Sensual massage - outcalls only

Sydney NSW view on map
Date Listed:
Last Edited:
Full body oil massage 1 hour $70. I come to you, anywhere in Sydney.
My massage is a relaxation/therapeutic massage.

This is not a sexual service.
My certificate 4 in massage therapy was obtained at a TAFE nsw campus.

My first question was who needs a Sensual Massage if it doesn't come with a happy ending!? That seems a bit mean if you ask me.  All I see are key words. Sensual. Full body. oil. sexual 4 campus. Even with TAFE credentials it still reads like banana hand And this tells me two things about the culture I live in. The first is that we are all cornered into being liars. And the little death is the only sure sell. Australia may be tighter than a nun's undies when it comes to regulation but under neath that buttoned up front we're just a pack of horny hypocrites. There's no place like hell...I mean home. Home is where the hard on is. My account is suspended! Oh Gawd!


Where to go?  It's not like I'm not skilled in many areas.  It's just nobody wants to pay for the skills that I have. Take the Digital Diva. Where I shoot and edit videos so people can market their business on youtube. I thought that was a rip roaring idea but nobody was interested! I have no idea why? It must be something to do with my pitch or they sniff that I'm just a compulsive creative. Which to them smells like a zany type of crack ho. They don't quite get my enthusiasm. I think it scares them. I think I'm too off Nanny's grid for most people's liking. In the old days I might be considered eccentric but now I'm just mental so I end up making free vids for other artists. But 99% of the time they never write back and say thank you. Nobody appreciates free.  Free is Thankless. So with each output  my sense of uselessness is compounded and my thwarts seem to multiply. I'm Nanny's bitch and she's got me on heel and a very short leash so trying to get ahead hurts. It really hurts. It's been hurting a while now. On a Quest to lose that leash I took a long and winding road around Australia. But all that journey  left me with was a deeper appreciation of Burke and Wills and a few stories. gna gna gna..

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