Sunday, June 19, 2011

Hungry Birds

Only the predators have eyes for your hunger. They hold out the crumbs not to feed you but bait you and watch for saliva.

So when they start to dangle I move on.
selling wednesdaykennedyink.
The Social Networking Doyenne.
I will build your facebook, utube and twitter.
I will find your people and make them welcome.
I have a Carbon Tax special. It's a Bargain!! I'll set up your facebook and get you your first hundred friends for a hundred dollars. I'll handpick those friends so you'll love each other. I'll warm up your wall and light your first fire. I'm a Doyenne!'

But I Doyenne right out of there and Doyenne myself down the block knock knock after knock 'til I come to the place I was meant to be helping. The Cafe in the back streets of Annandale that was gorgeous and empty and dying for my Digital Diva touch! This was my territory. Intimate, authentic, I fell in love with it. With all of it. Especially the Ibis named Eileen.

Eileen just turned up. Turned up at the door feeling hungry. Just like I did. And nobody was suspicious of Eileen. Nobody was scared they were going to get ripped off. They knew she was a scavanger because she was hungry. And they gave her a feed and told her to come back tomorrow. So she did.

And I think to myself 'I love this place. I love this woman!' And I want to do her marketing so everyone shares in her vibe and the cafe's not empty but crowded. I had Dexy's Midnight Runners dancing through my head...

So I say 'I will do your marketing and I will work for food. I'll set up your facebook and make you a utube clip and send everyone I know here. Maybe we could have a poetry night! The poets will love you! All you have to do is feed me when I come in. My heart was brimming with inspiration when I said it. I felt illuminated!

But she said she had to think about it.

Voice Over Coming.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

He kissed like a spy.

That's why I didn't take it any further. I'm done with spies.
I'm like a magnet to them. Now I take notes.

His story was plausible but I didn't believe it. He took no photos of his journey like he didn't want to leave a trail. He couldn't remember where he'd been. He had no stories of living in Sydney. He'd been shipped over here for work and never really left the space ship. And now he was on the road. The answers to his questions were all vague and open ended. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't know where his journey would end. He wasn't running away and he wasn't running towards anything. He had no passion. So when he kissed me I thought of two slugs in a bain marie. I hoped the pimple on his lip wasn't a virus. That's all I needed. It was the country that made me want to kiss him. I was all worked up with a small town yearning, surrounded by men with the blood pumping through them. I had to kiss someone. And there he was. The Spy. In the middle of nowhere. What was I doing? Disaster Chef probably sent him. Or Centrelink! Or ASIO. Or the Dutch mafia! That'd be just my luck. He told us he was from The Netherlands. But nobody knew where that was.

'Say Holland.' I told him.

So he did.

And everyone got it.

But Gidget said . 'I don't know about those clogs. They've got no give.
She wears slippers to work. Hot Pink.

The Platinum Cowgirl invites the Spy home with us. She does it for me. I'm 100% ambivalent. Now I know he's a spy I don't want him to come but it's too late to get out of it. She's so generous. She feeds us Maggie Beer Pate and expensive wines and cheese and crackers and cigarettes. I take notes. He tells more stories that leave no residue. He has no aura. He worked setting up people's voice mails but he couldn't remember his own phone number. Only Artists and Spys can't remember their own phone number...

But if he was a Spy the poor bastard was stuck between a paranoid Videographer and a Tracker. I had a bullet at his back and The Tracker had an imprint of his sneakers...He had no hope.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Disaster Diva (Episode One.

An episodic utube documentary about being a One Woman Show in a brave new world. An exploration of Hunger from the growling belly to the starving heart! Will Disaster DIva get up a show and take it back to New York? How will she do it ? Is it possible to reach for a star by standing on a milk crate? Can you have a dream and no money and make that dream happen from the cultural holding pen of the brave new world.
Sponsor Disaster Diva on her Journey.
Sponsor an episode be apart of the Disaster Diva Family.

Thank You.

All Donations will be announced on the blog. Unless you would prefer to be Anonymous.
Episode Two Coming Soon!